Out with 2008,

While not everything has been bad in 2008, I'd like to say GOOD RIDDANCE to the year 2008.
Things went funky early on in the year and just went downhill from there. I know it was not just me and many people had a rather unpleasant year. But for me, here are some of the things that made 2008 a year to forget:
~February 24- spending time with my parents on their 30th anniversary when we received a phone call that my cousin --my dad's older brother's daugther-- had committed suicide. We weren't close-- I remember meeting her a few times when I was still in my single digits-- but suicide always messes with me. Having it happen in my family messed with me more.
~On top of my emotional issues (which are gradually improving over time...) this year was also fraught with physical issues. I started having joint problems-- the biggie was the ankle that hurt on the bottom and went numb on the top. That one has not been resolved yet. Others just randomly decided to hurt on random days. Whatever. Then there were some other issues that came along on top of the ankle issues leading to me not getting that resolve. These issues are being examined over time (yippee...) to see if anything changes. Then there was the tummy trouble that started with not just milk products, but other random foods as well-- eating is not enjoyable when nothing seems to agree with you. Then of course there was my clumsiest moment in the history of my existence, leading to my elbow injury-- that was fun. Amazingly enough, the month or so that my elbow felt really bad, everything else felt GREAT. Weird. And then there was the fact that for the two months prior to hurting my elbow as well as about a month and a half after, I was waking up at least twice a night. With all of this going on, my weight has suffered and my doctor is apparently not concerned by any of this. Well that's special. Particularly given that my mom has been diagnosed in the last three years with Type II Diabetes, a thyroid condition and Rheumatoid arthritis. All of which I am at risk for and all of which will hit me harder and sooner if I can't get my weight under control. But apparently this does not matter to my doctor.
~ I really did not want to move until I could afford to buy a place and moving was made even more complicated by the whole stupid elbow thing. I couldn't have done it without such fabulous friends.
~ This year has been the most difficult yet to be alone. The hardest part has been watching all of the new kids arriving to their families. Of course it is a joy-- but it is also painful for me because I worry that I will run out of time. I know that 29 is still young, but I also know that it is going to be VERY difficult for me to have a child if and when that time comes because of the "other issues" mentioned in the above section and so each year that goes by that I'm still alone is another year that I've lost.
~ I have struggled with hope and with trust. I have watched my parents' marriage continue in its destructive path of not communicating and the blame game. At the same time, I have watched my brother struggle as his wife goes out on the town with friends and leaving him at home. All the while, he brought in the only income for most of the year as she was unemployed for six months and he still was left to do much of the housework despite being the only one working and despite being out of town frequently for work. As far as trust goes, I have found that because of many past experiences, I am having a hard time trusting men to do anything they say they will do-- which may keep me from getting a date should anyone be miraculously interested.

But 2008 hasn't been all bad. Here is some of the good:
~ I made several great new friends and reconnected with a couple of old friends.
~ I got a better position at work- working in claims rather than customer service. My co-workers are much more friendly and accepting and much less catty and gossipy. I also feel much more appreciated. Not only do they say it and show it more-- I also received an unexpected promotion which resulted in a 9% pay increase. It's not a different job-- just a higher level of the same job because my boss thinks that I'm doing great.
~Smokey is still the cutest cat ever. And since I got my digital camera, it's easier for me to prove it. :)
~Now that I've moved to the new place, I'm starting to see the pluses-- I have much more space than I used to. It is walking distance to the grocery store, coffee, dollar tree and several food options. Also it is walking distance to the park where there is a beautiful walking trail.
~I've started to learn to believe and accept that the people who say that they love me really do love me-- it is not just an act and it is not pity.

Next Post: In with 2009-- My goals and hopes for the year to come.

A Post About Nothing.

I am here to post about nothing. I, like some others, have been experiencing a case of the blog BLAHS and have not posted anything for a while. Don't worry-- I haven't posted anything on the emo blog either, so it's not because things are bad. I just don't have much to say.
I generally do not enjoy the holidays as much as I should because it means extra extra time with the family and my mom tends to make drama out of everything that goes wrong this time of year. She has been much more mellow this year-- I'm not sure what to attribute it to, but I am grateful.
I received a fifty dollar gift card for Wal-mart from my boss because of all the overtime I worked a couple weeks ago to help clean up the claims we had. Since I do not shop at Wal-mart, I offered to give it to my parents. My mom would not take it. I offered to sell it to them for forty dollars. My mom said that she wants me to spend it. The good news is, the gift card can ALSO be used at Sam's Club. I know it sounds weird, but I don't boycott Sam's even though I boycott Wal-mart even though they're essentially the same company-- the main reason being that Sam's has a much better track record on employee relations since they have to remain at least somewhat competetive with Costco.
So soon, I will be purchasing some items of bulk goodness. Perhaps some potsticker are in order. And I could definitely use some more individually wrapped chicken breasts (very convenient for a single gal cooking for herself). And some Laughing Cow Cheese. Yes, that sounds good. We'll see what else I get.
I am glad that Christmas is almost here. Because I will be very glad when it is over with. I'm not saying that to be all anti-holiday spirit or Bah-Humbug-y... It's just that all of my gatherings with friends are after Christmas, and I am rather looking forward to spending time with people who love me the way I am-- as cliche as that sounds, it is the truth.
I think that's about all the nothing I can write about right now, so I am going to eat breakfast now-- a cinnamon streusel muffin and perhaps some coffee.