Pictures as Promised!

So, after quite a delay, I finally have pictures from my brother's wedding, and so I thought I would share a few since I promised I would. So here goes:





Becca and I










The Bridesmaids











Mi Familia









David (the Best Man) and myself








Russ and the Ladies (Apparently my bro is quite popular!)







The Happy Couple at Last!

The Garden

This post is kind of a response to a comment on my recent post entitled "Friendship Revisited". I said that I was feeling it necessary to proceed in this friendship with caution, and I received a comment that I needed to be willing to take risks. I have also have several conversations since then with others during which I expressed a desire to not talk to this particular friend. Nobody seems to quite understand where I am coming from, and I really don't know how to explain it. And then I came across something in the book I've been reading that expresses my feelings perfectly--much better than I could have done on my own. The book is called Revelations of a Single Woman. And in one chapter, the author explains a relationship/friendship much like my own in which her desires are completely different than those of the man involved. And here is the letter that she wrote in response to him when he questioned her for pulling away:

Okay Simon. Please let me explain something. You are right when you sense that I am "pulling back," but I'd like to take a minute to explain. See, Simon, a woman's heart is a lot like a garden. There are, in the garden, public areas. This is where almost anyone can traverse (read: decent colleagues, the kind checker at the grocery store, the rare person on the subway who gives up his or her seat, neighbors who want to borrow a tool, parents of friends, little kids in the park, etc.) Then there is the center of her garden. It's a special place, reserved ultimately for the person who wants to commit to "husband her garden permanently," so to speak. (I know you're into etymology, Simon. I guess you know that the word husband is actually an agricultural term.)
Anyhow, the tricky part, of course, is that there's this in-between place, somewhere between the inner sanctum and the outer ring, and that's where this all gets confusing. Basically, Simon, the folks I let into this more fluid in-between part are some key family members, longtime girlfriends, a few guys I consider brothers, my boss who I know cares for me, and guys who are interested in exploring the idea of entering into that inner sanctum. The problem, Simon, is that once a guy whom I like--and Simon, I have felt chemistry between us--decides he's not particularly interested in long term inner-sanctum husbandry, I can't let him wander all around the middle ground anymore. If I do, then he inevitably crosses lines he doesn't know he's crossing, and I inevitable try to pull him into the center. He can't figure out why I'm all upset (because, afterall, he was honest about his lack of intentions), and I keep hoping I'm going to change him. That, Simon, is a recipe for disaster.
So, brother Simon, that's the scoop. I hope this helps. I do care about you, and I want you in my public areas, so to speak. But in light of everything you've said, for now, that's all I can invite.


Don't get me wrong... This is not to say that I'm giving up entirely. However, this is to say that at this point, all I am prepared to do is sit back and wait, come what may. I am tired of the tug-of-war and now that I know where things stand, I am no longer trying to pull someone into my inner garden who doesn't want to be there, and I am hoping to meet someone, new or old, who is interested in going there...

Where I Reside

I have lived with a very odd collection of people over the last few years. Since permanently moving out of my parents' house, I have had some very interesting roommates. There was the drifting Christian who asked me to lie to her parents if they asked if she was sleeping with her boyfriend. There was the guy who spent 10-14 hours a day on the computer doing whatever it is that gamers do, and only once or twice emerging from his bedroom to share a meal with the rest of us. There was the legalistic Christian who gave away her bed so that she could know the suffering of people without, but then ended up sleeping on the futon in the living room most nights. She was also the the one who tried using the "Daniel Fast" as a long-term diet and claimed to have a wheat allergy, but would eat an entire box of crackers in one sitting. There was a very peaceful time when it was just my brother, his girlfriend (now wife) and I--despite the conflicts in beliefs and lifestyles, that was the easiest living situation up to that point. And the current was a little better than that. Here, I have lived with people who all work at the Evil K. We allow ourselves one small segment of Evil K ranting per week, and after that, all talk turns to other subjects. Some of the bigger challenges here have been the dishes (which are always piling up), ruined cookware (teflon flakes in mac & cheese... Yummy...), the insanely expensive utilities (which don't fully benefit me because the gas heat and A/C do not cover the back part of the house), the mice, ants and spiders (I don't like crawly things), and the fact that our street does not get plowed when it snows and my car does not handle snow well. There has also been the fact that my cat has to stay in the back because the two cats in the house don't get along. I just feel bad that he doesn't ever get to hang in the front where the heat and A/C are.

The point of all of this is that all of these battles are about to end. No more washing dishes that have already been "washed", no more mice, no more freezing/melting, no more driving/sliding to work in the snow. As long as I'm approved, I will be moving into my own apartment, by myself, on January 12. My cat will have free reign over the place and any dishes left in the sink will be mine. And I will pay half as much for utilities that will actually heat/cool my room! Oh yeah, and I'll be able to walk to work rain, snow or shine! This will be a very good way to start the new year...

Friendship Revisited.

I just had a conversation with a friend whom I haven't spoken to, as friends, for over a year. I got what I was waiting for from this friend at long last, though not necessarily what I wanted. I am grateful to have this friendship back because of the timing--because I've been praying for a friend who would be available to me when I get off work. I am grateful to have back the things that I missed, the easy and comfortable conversations, the way we understand one another, and so on. I am also glad to have an added layer in this friendship, being a layer of openness that wasn't there before, which is what I wanted most of all. At the same time, I am aware that I need to be cautious. Please pray that I will continue to let Jesus alone be my source of joy and that I would not allow myself to depend on others for this.