Friday, June 29, 2007

That's one bitter apple!

I know this might sound completely ridiculous, but I really hate that Adam and Eve had to go and spoil things for all of creation. I mean if it wasn't for that one darned apple, we would have so much less fuss.
Picture the scene shortly after this problem began.

Eve: Oh, Adam... Does this sheep skin make me look fat?
Adam: Grunts
Eve: I'm serious. I need help picking out an outfit.
Adam: Grunts
Eve: Okay, so do you like the fig leaf or the maple leaf better
Adam: (raised eyebrows) Which one's easier to take off?
Eve: (hits Adam with her purse) This is really important. I'm afraid the fig leave might be too skimpy. It might make me look cheap.
Adam: (looks down at his fig leave and shrugs)

We wouldn't have to worry about whether or not we can afford to buy all the latest fashion... We wouldn't have to worry about whether the same size will fit us in every brand... And we CERTAINLY wouldn't have to worry about trying on 40 different swimsuits and still not finding even one that fit in a manner becoming of a modest Christian woman.
Then again, one could argue in the case of swimsuits that being a man would be quite advantageous. After all, then you only have to worry about finding a pair of shorts that fits around your waist. Being a woman trying to find a bathing suit is probably comparable to being a man and trying to find a new pair of flip flops... And it's all because of Adam and Eve.

The moral of the story:
Number of swimsuits tried on today: 10
Number of swimsuits purchased: 0

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Enough Adventure for One Night

It was a pretty peaceful day. I went to my parents' house and watched Take the Lead with my mom. We ate bacon and eggs and then I watched Scoop with both of my parents. Nice and calm. We then went to Sam's Club, which was less crowded than usual, got all of the samples we could, made our purchases and continued to Barnes and Noble to purchase the thirteenth book in a series that my mother and I both read. I let her take the book first since at the moment I am making my way through the Harry Potter series again before book seven comes out... I am completely aware of how geeky this sounds and so I will add a little more to that fire. At Barnes and Noble I also purchased a paper back copy of the sixth Harry Potter book because I don't like to write in my hard cover books. My parents looked at me as though I was completely insane, not understanding why one would want to write in a book in the first place... Of course they wouldn't understand... They are not book nerds. At any rate, this still sounds like a normal day, right?
So we make our way to Baldini's because my parents like the beef barley soup. For the third week in a row, we have the same waiter. My dad said that they also had him for three weeks prior to the first week that I went with them. Apparently, every time that I've come with them, the waiter has not charge my parents for their soup, nor has he charged for my soda. My dad is convinced that it has something to do with me... I will neither admit nor deny that. I am just amused by it.
After we are done at Baldini's and on our way back to my apartment, my mom's best friend calls to ask if we want to meet up with her because she's going to dinner. My mom agrees, so we decide we'll just have dessert or a drink since we've already eaten. This is where the adventure begins. My mom's best friend is in the mood for Olive Garden. As we get closer we see tons of emergency vehicles. Just as we were about to make a left onto Peckham, a firetruck flips around and blocks off traffic. So we have to merge back over to go straight. We get to Virginia, then to Kietzke and see that there are approximately 15 police cars in the Olive Garden parking lot. We make our way in, find a place to park and get out of the car. Terri has put our names in, but the restaurant is not allowed to let anyone in or out. So we wait because Terri doesn't want to eat anywhere else... She doesn't want to take her food to go and come over to my place and eat (since it's close) and she doesn't want to go home until she's had her soup from Olive Garden. While we are waiting, we hear five or six different variations of what has happened. The first story is that a guy who lives in the apartment complex shot his girlfriend and then when the police showed up, he shot a policeman. The second variation is that a guy shot his girlfriend somewhere else--the police were chasing him and he crashed into something and fled into the apartment complex and they were trying to find him. The variations just continue from there. According to the news reports, nobody was hurt in the incident, so all of the tales we heard while waiting to get into the Olive Garden were bunk. But I still say that the experience was quite enough adventure for one night...