Today, after ending my month and a half long television on DVD binge (which actually ended last Thursday after I finished season 7 of Gilmore Girls), I found myself in a cleaning mood. I cleaned the refrigerator. I folded almost all of the clothes on my bedroom floor. There are still some clothes on my living room floor, but I agreed to myself that I would stop at 9pm. I intend to continue cleaning tomorrow and the next day until I have my apartment organized in a manner that will allow me to function again. When I get depressed I kind of shut down and stop doing anything. I don't clean. I don't cook. I don't go out. I don't do anything. The problem is, that then when I'm done being mopey, things have become TOO overwhelming and so I don't know where to start getting back on track, and so I just ignore it even longer.
The reality is that in the year and a half that I have lived here, I still haven't found a place for everything, which is why it gets so overwhelming and why my apartment always looks like there was an explosion... I need to find a place for everything so that I know exactly where I can go to sit and write, or where I can grab my gym clothes and running shoes. Ugh. Probably I should get rid of some things, which might make the process of finding a place for everything a little bit easier-- but I'm horrible of getting rid of things. And when it comes to clothes I always end up regretting about half of what I get rid of. For example, two years ago, I got rid of my fat clothes-- but now I need my fat clothes again. Now I don't want to get rid of my non-fat clothes because I'm sure I'll need them again since I'm back on my pills and I really can't afford to buy new clothes again.
So things to do to get things in order:
1) Figure out what items I can get rid of.
2) Find a place for all remaining items.
3) Set up desk with all necessary writing supplies and utensils
4) Restock refrigerator with healthy food, eliminate all foods that contain the word "cream" because the result of eating said foods is quite unpleasant...
5) Find a suitable alternative to yogurt (which no longer agrees with me) for breakfast.
6) Establish if there are any other food items that no longer agree with me. Jerks.
7) Ease my way back into running and hope it works out better than the great walking fiasco this spring. All summer I have been sticking to the bike and the pool, so hopefully things are good to move back into running. We'll see...
8) STOP BEING SO DARN EMO!
That is all.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Strange.... And Yet I Cried...
Yes, I know it will come as no surprise to most of you that I cried-- I always cry. No need to remind me of that. But this time, it was not about me being emo. It was actually me watching a movie. A very strange movie. If any of you have seen Lars and the Real Girl you will know exactly what I am talking about. Who would have thought that a movie about a man who falls in love with a life size doll could have such a good message.
I won't tell too much, just in case anyone intends to watch the movie, but basically, Lars takes the doll as his girlfriend, the brother takes him to a psychologist, the psychologist tells the family that they need to play along as long as Lars needs them to. The family gets the town to cooperate as well, and the town ends up loving the doll, too-- And at one point Lars gets in a fight with his sister-in-law because his doll has gone out to do things with some other people in town and she isn't home to play Scrabble with him. And the sister-in-law tells him that doing all of this for "Bianca" (the doll) is not easy, but the townspeople are doing it because they love him.
So the thinking part of that moment is this: What things do other people do for us out of love that we may not even recognize-- that we may even resent? And why do we have such a hard time accepting and recognizing love unless it's right underneath our noses-- and sometimes even when it is under our noses we don't recognize it.
Just a thought for today...
I won't tell too much, just in case anyone intends to watch the movie, but basically, Lars takes the doll as his girlfriend, the brother takes him to a psychologist, the psychologist tells the family that they need to play along as long as Lars needs them to. The family gets the town to cooperate as well, and the town ends up loving the doll, too-- And at one point Lars gets in a fight with his sister-in-law because his doll has gone out to do things with some other people in town and she isn't home to play Scrabble with him. And the sister-in-law tells him that doing all of this for "Bianca" (the doll) is not easy, but the townspeople are doing it because they love him.
So the thinking part of that moment is this: What things do other people do for us out of love that we may not even recognize-- that we may even resent? And why do we have such a hard time accepting and recognizing love unless it's right underneath our noses-- and sometimes even when it is under our noses we don't recognize it.
Just a thought for today...
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Smokey's Outdoor Adventure
On the weekends when I go to my parents' house, it is always my mother's request that I bring Smokey along. She refers to him as her "grand-kitty"... And she always insists on taking him outside in the yard for at least an hour. We put on his harness and leash and let him roam around the yard. Here are some pictures of Smokey's adventure today:
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