As my 30th birthday approaches, I am receiving a lot of solicited and unsolicited advice from well-meaning friends, family and co-workers. The only ones who are offering no advice are the ones who most relate and understand to how I'm feeling. Most people seem to think that it's unnatural for me to NOT be excited by this birthday or that I'm making a big deal about nothing. And they're probably right. I probably should be excited and I probably shouldn't be thinking that I'll be depressed. But the reality is I know myself-- this is another landmark birthday that will be passing with my dreams still floating in the distance unfulfilled, and I don't tend to deal with that sort of thing very well. I want to be excited. I'm trying to make the experience as fun-filled and pain free as I possibly can. I'm trying to plan activities and vacations so that I will not have time to isolate myself or hole myself up in my apartment.
I really don' have much more to say than that, right now. I am excited about the things I have coming up-- I'm excited about quite a few things in September. I just pray that the excitement will last through the fall. I don't want to be the one who cries all the time about things that she has no control over. I don't want to be the person who isn't grateful for the good things in her life. I do want to be the person whose joy is contagious, whose smile is genuine, whose eyes do not betray some hidden emotion.
3 comments:
jeni i love and appreciate your honesty.
watching 13 going on 30 with me and the girls i hope might help, and a chocolate cake!!
let's pick a date now??
Haha! I love you. That sounds great.
=) I kinda know how you feel -- just got to the 29 myself.
You are doing great, and don't let anything get you down.
-rue
Post a Comment