Sunday, June 28, 2009

Life and things to come...

Today was a wonderful day filled with blessings. I had fabulous conversations with THREE of my close friends-- the ones who are just as much my friend as I am theirs and now I feel quite relaxed and encouraged. (I love you guys!)
The afternoon started out with a little time to myself, which was nice, because I really haven't had any of that for the last couple of weekends. Since I was meeting some friends for a movie downtown at 2:15, I just went straight downtown. It would have been silly to go home only to have to leave again 10 minutes later. So I decided to chill at Dreamers' for a little while and have some lunch. This was officially my first time trying a grilled peanut butter and banana sandwich and I must say that it was quite tasty.
The movie was hilarious and then I went to Pneumatic Diner with one of my inner circle (hehehe) and had a tasty meal there. We walked around downtown quite a bit, which was nice. I really should spend more time outside... I should make myself do it, even when I really don't feel like it.
Anyway, after that, I went home and talked to TWO more of my friends on the phone which was also quite nice.

As far as things to come-- Real Simple magazine is having another essay contest. I can't believe it's already been a year since the last one. At any rate-- I fully intend to enter again. I think this time the subject is a bit less vague and I already know what I want to write about. They've also increased the word count from 1500 to 3000 words, which might make things a bit easier. I can't wait to get started.
Also, it's almost JULY which means that ARTown is almost here. I fully plan to take advantage of the free activities-- I may be broke, but that doesn't mean I can't have a great time in July. I'll be posting some activities on Facebook if anybody wants to join in on the ARTown fun...
And last-- I am making plans for my birthday because I want to have fun and hang out with the people that I love and care about when I turn *cough* thirty *cough*. It's three months away, but I don't care. I want to make sure that I am happy and not depressed and so I'm planning things that I enjoy and if anybody wants to join in, they're welcome to, and if not, it's their loss! More on that later.

I also see bedtime in my near future... We'll say about 15 minutes in the future... :) Good night, all!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

My blog has been neglected...

Life has been interesting lately. For the most part I have been happy because of my friends-- the ones that God has so graciously placed in my life-- despite the constant feeling that something in my life is still unfulfilled. I've been dealing with some stuff that I'm just not going to blog about and these few fabulous friends who are endlessly loyal have been very supportive once I let them in. As far as everybody else-- I feel like I'm having to work far harder than I should, and I'm getting to the point of being burned out again on being the one to put in all of the effort. Why should I always be the one doing the planning and inviting? When does it get to be somebody else's turn? (The loyal few are excluded from this statement. You know who you are...) I'm tired and I need a break, but I'm afraid that if I take one, if I stop being the one to make the effort, I'll end up isolated all over again.
Partially I think I'm just emo because I have a lot of questions, a lot of issues, but not many answers. And partially I think it's because the up and coming birthday of doom (30) and I have yet to accomplish anything noteworthy. I know that our accomplishments should not/do not matter-- but as I said before, there are days when I feel unfulfilled. I wonder what I'm supposed to be doing, how I should be making a difference, why I am still here, alone, waiting for life to happen. I know-- life doesn't just happen-- I need to take action of some sort, but I just can't figure out what.
And this is why I haven't blogged. Nothing makes sense. I have Jesus. I have friends who love me and I am mostly happy-- at least when they're around. So why isn't it enough? Why do I still see what other people have and want it even though I know it isn't right for me? Why do I sabotage myself in my pursuit of my dreams-- give up before I've even started?

Yeah... I think it's time for bed.

Until the next time...