I May Be Crazy

If you're reading this and don't already know about my latest venture, I'll fill you in. On April 19, I started a 30 day challenge of Bikram yoga. In other words, I go to class every day for thirty days. The classes are 90 minutes long and consist of the same 26 postures every time. The best part... The class is done in a 105 degree room... Very exciting. So anyway, today was my 25th day and it feels great to be accomplishing something. I'm trying to focus on the positives I've experienced even though I sometimes feel frustrated that I'm working so hard and not seeing much change in my body. I'm sure it will come. In the mean time, I have finished 25 out of 30 days and I think I'm going to expand it to 60 days. Like I said, I may be crazy. If anyone would like to join me, I'd love the company! :)

Dumpy day

I am here because I feel dumpy today. I feel like no matter how hard I work at anything, it always amounts to nothing. My head knows that it's not true, but it is how I feel. I'm feeling discouraged right now because nothing ever seems to go right. I know that working towards accomplishing something is a good thing- that setting and meeting a goal will help me feel better about myself, but I still feel like it's not enough. I want to be healthy. I have been trying for quite a while to get myself there, and every time I think that I'm on my way, something else comes up and I just never seem to get there. I know that I'm fortunate because there are people who have much bigger problems than I do and all of that jazz, but it doesn't keep me from being discouraged because I just don't ever get any answers and if there are no answers then there are also no solutions. I haven't felt GOOD in quite a long time. I'm not sure if I'd recognize the feeling anymore if I ever did. Most days I feel OKAY, not good, not bad, just here and it's much better than feeling bad, so I guess in a way it's good... But I want to wake up some morning and be able to say to myself, "I feel good."

Eh, enough emo-y goodness from me. Back to the rabbit hole...