I am here because I feel dumpy today. I feel like no matter how hard I work at anything, it always amounts to nothing. My head knows that it's not true, but it is how I feel. I'm feeling discouraged right now because nothing ever seems to go right. I know that working towards accomplishing something is a good thing- that setting and meeting a goal will help me feel better about myself, but I still feel like it's not enough. I want to be healthy. I have been trying for quite a while to get myself there, and every time I think that I'm on my way, something else comes up and I just never seem to get there. I know that I'm fortunate because there are people who have much bigger problems than I do and all of that jazz, but it doesn't keep me from being discouraged because I just don't ever get any answers and if there are no answers then there are also no solutions. I haven't felt GOOD in quite a long time. I'm not sure if I'd recognize the feeling anymore if I ever did. Most days I feel OKAY, not good, not bad, just here and it's much better than feeling bad, so I guess in a way it's good... But I want to wake up some morning and be able to say to myself, "I feel good."
Eh, enough emo-y goodness from me. Back to the rabbit hole...
2 comments:
I hear you . . . I've often told God all I want is to be happy, can that be so hard? . . . Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for all the many blessings in my life and believe me I know I am more fortunate then most, and yet my brain doesn't seem to get it . . .
so sorry Jeni....:(
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