My blog has been rather neglected, and after last weeks excursion back into emo poetry, I'm thinking that it may be time to return to my blogging, whether anybody reads it or not... I'd prefer they did, but if not, at least I still have a place for my emo thoughts to go.
So right now, I'm reflecting on Easter weekend and all that went on. The processing and such began on Friday when I suffered another disappointment in the dating (or lack there of) department. It really wasn't that big of a deal, but since I'm still not used to having my main support for this sort of thing, it became a big deal, but just for the day.
Saturday was busy, packed with activity from 7 am - 11pm, but it was enjoyable. Attempted to participate in a conversation in which my last dating potential disappointment was involved. It felt very awkward, but I didn't run away like I have been, so I guess it's progress. Then Saturday night I had a dream about the awkwardness and confronting it. The reality of the matter is that confronting the awkwardness would probably just create more awkwardness than just letting it pass, but in my dream, we had a conversation about it and he admitted to knowing that what he did was going to hurt me, but he didn't really know what to do about it. This left me feeling like I really did just want him to have what was best for him, but still it's hard to be around the whole thing. Whatever. No more dwelling on that.
Then Sunday morning, many people that I talked to told me that they had no idea that I could perform, that it was a completely different side of me. And then I realized something-- not entirely new, but something that I thought I'd moved past-- the reality of me is that I still feel more comfortable playing a character; putting on a facade. It's so much easier to share the hard things that have happened when I tell it in third person. The people who know the real me truly know all of me because they can see past that character, past the facade, but everyone else is willing to accept the character as who I am.
4 comments:
Welcome back! Don't knock blogging when no one reads it - I've been on a total blogging streak lately and I think it's mostly because no one reads it anymore. It can be very freeing! It sets you free to speak your mind fully without worrying what this person or that is going to think of you.
Alternatively, if you feel you really need an audience, I found that adding pictures of cats tends to bring lots of hits thanks to Google Image search ;)
Hey, thanks for stopping by! :) And thanks for the tip about the cat pictures... I probably won't use it, but you never know...
welcome back. I decided to do a little resurrection and figured I would see if any of these were still alive (I assumed they were all dead). Good to see you back.
Wow, two people read my blog! Yay. Thanks for visiting. Let's get a blog revival going!
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