1) "No, honey, you need to eat something other than marshmallows."
Funny story to go along with this one: On Wednesday, Josh was bringing me breakfast because we had returned home from a trip late on Tuesday evening and hadn't done our grocery shopping yet. I came out to the car and he told me that he needed to check on Linnea because while he was driving, he heard rustling and he realized that she had found our snack bag and pulled out the bag of marshmallows. He wasn't sure how big of a mess she had made, only that she had been digging in the bag. I opened the door to investigate and she looked up at me with the biggest grin on her face and shoved several marshmallows into her mouth from the pile she had created in the carseat between her legs. I started to collect the marshmallows and put them back in the bag, then she grabbed another handful, put them in her mouth, then helped me put the rest back in the bag. To me this reveals the true nature of toddlerhood - both devious and sweet in the same breath.
2) "Linnea, you do not take your shirt off in public."
I would have thought it was far too early in my daughter's life to have to have this conversation, but she has recently taken to taking off her shirt in restaurants when she gets impatient waiting for the food. Fortunately, it is just her shirt when we are in public. But at home, it's another story...
3) "Linnea, your crib is not a toilet."
Okay, so maybe I've never said it QUITE like that before, but the sentiment applies. For about 4 months now, she has been taking off her pajamas in her crib if she isn't quite ready to go to sleep yet. Well, actually, it's not just her pajamas. She also takes off her diaper. This is more of a problem at nap time and she has been known to be found naked in her crib four to five times before she either falls asleep or we just give up on nap time for the day. When she first started doing this, we purchased more one piece zip up pajamas, and for a little while, this worked... Until it didn't.
One day, about a month after we started putting her in one piece pajamas for nap time and bed time, we had put her down for her nap. There was chatter for a little while, and then silence, so we though she was asleep. About 10 minutes later, she started crying and it kept getting louder. When I went to check on her, she was standing completely naked in the corner of her crib. When I walked in, she looked down toward the floor, pointed and said "Uh-oh!" Her diaper and her one piece pajamas were there on the floor. The pajamas were still FULLY ZIPPED! We decided that she was practicing to become a toddler escape artist and promptly scheduled her for an audition for America's Got Talent.
Another time, a few days later, the sound was different. There was faint crying which is usually the sound that happens before she falls asleep. Then silence. Then chattering, which is also usually a precursor to sleep. Then louder chatter. Then "YUCK! YUCK!" When uttered by a toddler, "Yuck" is never a good sign. I went to check on her and here is what I saw: pajamas on the floor, diaper on the floor, naked toddler in the corner of the crib pointing to a little pile of poop next to her with one word on repeat - "Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!"
4) "Tampons are not food."
Probably this one does not require any further explanation - I'll just let you imagine what happens when a toddler discovers a box of tampons under the sink while mommy is showering.
These are just a few of the crazy adventures we have experienced thus far on the train ride through Toddler Town. I have titled this post "Part 1" because I anticipate that it will not be long before I either recall more of these crazy stories OR I live through more of them. Either way there will more than likely be a Part 2!
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