What I SHOULD have done.

So, the running... It was fun, though the event was not terribly well organized. But this post is not about that. This post is about WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE.
In the beginning, back in January, when we first started running, I flat out sucked... There is no other way to put it. The first week, I couldn't run the whole mile we were supposed to do. I blamed it on the cold I had acquired, and moved on. The second week, I didn't have the cold anymore, but I still had to turn back before we were supposed to. I was bad. I was not used to having to push through pain, anymore. I thought I had left that behind in high school. I wanted to cry because I was so far removed from where I had been in high school. I had gone into the whole thinking (yes, very stupid, I know) that I could just jump back in and instantly be in the shape I was in when I was playing soccer year round. I was pushing myself to keep up with everyone else. This was my pride, not wanting to be the slowest person out there, pushing myself too hard to try to keep up, rather than just to finish.
The third week proceeded in the same fashion, and afterwards, I started having some knee problems. I also was having problems with the muscle in the front of my leg. My knees were trying to buckle on me when I was going down the stairs from my bedroom. They hurt when I sneezed, when I laughed, or when I coughed. It was not something I was used to. At the advice of our WONDERFUL small group leader (thanks, Den) I took the week off and when I ran that Sunday, I slowed it down. I made no attempt to even THINK about keeping up with the others. I set myself the new goal of just finishing. By that point, we were at 2 1/4 miles. I hadn't even been able to finish the one mile running 2 minutes and walking 2 minutes. But on this day, once I had thrown away my pride and slowed down, I finished the 2 1/4 miles running 3 minutes and walking 1.
Just finishing that first time did amazing things for my confidence. The following week I finished the 3 miles running 4 walking 1, which was my ultimate goal, and we were only 5 weeks in! (Thanks for your help on that one, Toph!) In the weeks that proceeded, leading up to today, there was only week when I didn't complete the run I had started out to complete, and that was completely my own fault. I drank a couple of glasses of wine the night before. Yes, I know. Dumb to drink the night before running--and I suffered the consequences of that decision.
After that, I took another week off because of the random migraine headaches I had been experiencing. It was frustrating. I felt like I was being attacked (I'm sure I was!) because the migraines had started around the same time as the running, though the two WERE NOT associated. (That whole situation is improving, by the way!) To top it off, I had acquired another cold that week. I was certain on Sunday that I would be wimping out halfway through. But that week I ran 3.8 miles. (I drove my car down there afterwards to see how far I'd gone...) I was so excited that I set an even loftier goal for myself the next week. I wanted to make it to Keystone. 5 miles. I wanted to prove that I could do it. To myself. To my friends. To my family. To God (who knew all along...) I ran that 5 miles 5 minutes running 1 minute walking, and on a couple of occasions ran longer than the 5 minutes. I ended strong, running 9 minutes continuously to finish.
OKAY! Now is where the part about WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE comes in. After this, several people encouraged me to change my registration to the 10K rather than the 5K. I was too lazy. I didn't want to go to the trouble of trying to find out how to change my registration. I also wanted to look good. In my head, if I ran the 5K I would look pretty good, not great, but pretty good. My time would be fair, rather than SLOW. It was my pride again. I wanted MYSELF to look good and completely missed what God wanted from me.
I registered for a different 5K, just so I would have one under my belt before I did this big one. Not only was it muddy because of the rain the night before, but the guy directing traffic in the hills sent a group of us the wrong way and we ended up running more like a 7.5K. After this, I had even more nudging from people to change my registration from 5K to 10K. I even started to feel the nudging from God. But I couldn't see the logic in it through my pride, so I stuck with the 5K where I could have a "decent" finish.
Clearly God had other plans for me. Today, come race time, I just wanted to get the 5K over with in 30 minutes or less. At the 30 minute mark, we had just turned around. No turn around had been marked, and we had gone way too far. I was frustrated because I knew I should be finished. I started to wonder if I was just REALLY slow. I gave up for a few minutes and just walked. I was upset that this had happened AGAIN. When I finished and found out where we were supposed to have turned around, I was even more frustrated. I had been between 13 and 14 minutes at that point and I always run the second half faster. I could have done SO well... There was my pride talking again. Stupid pride.
So here's how I feel about the whole thing. I should have taken the effort to register for the 10 K. I almost ran it, anyway. And God kind of gave me the "you're going to run the 10 K whether you like it or not" treatment. And now, despite my pride, the glory all goes to God. I look awful with my 47 minute time for the 5K, which is exactly what I deserve for being prideful, but God is glorified anyway because he took someone who couldn't run a mile three and a half months ago and made me into someone who could have run SIX! IN THREE AND A HALF MONTHS! AMAZING! Thank you, Lord! :)

THANK YOU SO MUCH to all of you who have continuously encouraged me during this time! I love you all so much! Particularly, thanks to Dennis and Sue, who NEVER stopped encouraging me, no matter how poorly I was running! Thanks guys.

Now, the next goal, so that ya'll can keep me accountable to this:
I want to run a half marathon next year. I would like to run in the Country Music Marathon in Nashville and do the half-marathon. It is April 28th of next year, so I literally have almost a year. The trip to Nashville would be sort of a reward for preparing to do a half-marathon. I love Nashville. So, anyway--that is the goal!

If you've read this far, thanks for sticking around. Have an awesome week!