Just What I Need

As many of you may have noticed, I slipped back into emo last weekend. I am glad to say that I have returned from the land of Emo where we all sit in the dark and cry, and I will no longer be sitting alone in the dark-- at least until my next weekend excursion to the land of Emo.
So last weekend, I was just brooding and moping and being such a jerk that I even skipped communion at church because I was just too tired of imposing and tired of working so hard to find someone who would take me as part of their group. I was so tired of butting in (though I know I'm always welcomed) where people were already settled in. It is awkward and uncomfortable to constantly be inviting yourself into a group, and while it gives the opportunity for getting to know a lot more people, it sometimes feels like to much like a chore. So since my heart was not right, I missed the opportunity to know a little bit more about someone else, and to celebrate our gift with someone new. Afterwards, I completely melted down. I know-- I really need to stop doing that. :)

Anyway, this weekend I was all set. I was prepared to go back out there and find somebody to share those few minutes with. And this week I had friends come and join me. I was blessed by the friends beside me. Right when I needed for things to feel a little more simple, my friends came in beside me and took away some of that burden. And during those few minute, I found out that one of my friends, whom I haven't spent time with for quite a while, is in a similar place of need to have someone come along side. We had lunch and talked about things that we've experienced spiritually since we last talked and decided that we are going to make a regular thing of this-- intentionally setting aside time to be involved in each other's lives, being available in the times of need when we're not quite sure who to call. This is going to be good. This is just what I need, right when I need it.

I feel that for the last couple of years, but particularly the last year, my faith has been lackluster. It is there, but I've let dust settle and I haven't really taken any time to polish it so that it shines, so that it reflect the true brilliance of Jesus. I've just let it sit getting dull, maybe acknowledging it once or twice a week, but never really taking care of it. I've let it sit on the shelf gathering dust, but it's really time for me to clean off the dust, bust out the polish, and move it back to the place of honor where it belongs. It is not something that I took in once, and now I can stash it away, just to glance at it every once in a while. It should be constantly polished and displayed for all to see.

I'm sorry if my metaphor is a bit wishy-washy, but it makes perfect sense in my head. I can see a very clear picture in my head of this-- it kind of looks like a Faberge egg. I just pray that I can get things back to the way that they should be.

Good night and good luck!