Last Week's News: Jeni=Jerk Cubed

Praise Jesus for taking care of me even when I'm being a jerk cubed!

Last week was kind of a rough week. It started with me having a migraine and sleeping through church last Sunday. Obviously not the best way to start a week. I went to work and it was fair. The rest of the week was chaos. I did not deal well with the many rude customers I encountered throughout the week. In fact, when I hung up the phone with one particularly annoying customer, I slammed it down several times, went into the back office and called the customer a nasty name using a word that I almost never use. My coworkers went into a state of shock upon hearing the word, which cannot be repeated here, come out of my mouth. (Okay, I'll be honest, I use it when I'm driving WAY more frequently than I should, but only when I'm alone.) Anyway, I'm not sure if there were more extremely rude/annoying customers than usual, or if it was just because my attitude was all wrong. To make the week even longer, I was also cat-sitting for my bro and his fiance while they were on vacation. This task required me to feed the cats in the morning and at night which means that I had to either go to their apartment on my way home from work, then go home, or just stay the night there since my cat is not NEARLY as high maintenance.
There are many other bitterness issues surrounding this situation:
1) They did not tell me until the day that they left that they were expecting me to feed the cats twice a day.
2) They were going on vacation and expecting me to take care of their stuff all the while both of my upcoming vacations ALSO involve taking care of their stuff (bridal shower, wedding, and cat-sitting during the honeymoon.) So, yeah, I'm a jerk and was being resentful of the fact that I don't really get a vacation. (Jeni+envy+resentment=jerk cubed)
3) My bro's fiance, who just graduated in May, just got a new job after only her second application--first interview. She will be making 30K+. I being the jerk cubed that I am find it necessary to compare the fact that I applied for HUNDREDS of jobs after I graduated and only got ONE interview and obviously, given the fact that I still work at the Evil K, did not get the job.
4) I have more ready for the bridal shower than they have ready for the WHOLE WEDDING. They are putting everything off until the last minute--I know it's not my problem but it's driving me crazy. Also, the fact that they haven't even mailed all of their invites yet (the wedding is Oct. 10) affects my ability to throw the shower that I want to because since they haven't gathered all of the addresses, they haven't given me all of the addresses for shower guests. I feel like I've been set up to fail...
Other contributing factors to my horrible, nasty, no good week in which I was the Attitude Princess of Nevada:
1) The migraine of doom which lasted through Tuesday.
2) The fact that I decided (stupidly) that I should spend the whole weekend working on shower stuff and take no time for myself.
3) The co-worker with whom I get along best was on vacation.

So, of course, based on my behavior, attitude, etc, throughout the week, I expected to have a crappy weekend in which I was depressed and mopey the whole time. Particularly since I had agreed to work on Friday, which is one of my two days off. But despite my bitterness, nastiness, resentfulness, just plain jerk-offery (yes I AM making up words, thank you very much) God came through. My one day weekend felt like a full weekend. Friday night, I had a couple of drinks and a really nice dinner with a couple of coworkers/friends. Saturday, I got a LOT done for the shower, spent time with my parents and spent the rest of the night waiting for my friends to call me back so that we could hang out. But they never did. I was disappointed at first, but then I realized that I really NEEDED that time for myself because I hadn't taken any in over a week. But God knew what I needed and made sure that I got it.
I went back to work today refreshed and encouraged. Worship this morning was so uplifting after the week I'd had and the message rang all too true for me. I was totally convicted of complaining too much. I was bitter about being asked to work on Friday, but afterward I felt blessed because I knew that God has a purpose for it, on top of which, my eight hours of overtime this pay period are truly a gift because God knows that I need it right now. I really do sometimes behave in a way that says "God, what you've given me is JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH." And really, He always gives me just what I NEED--I just can't see it because it's not always what I WANT.
So, the moral of the story is, once again, despite my desire to wallow in the mud of my life, God came and pulled me out and cleaned me up, even knowing that He'll probably have to do it again before long.