"Three Deadly Ds of Destruction"

I am currently going through a book called Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver. The second chapter discusses the "Three Deadly Ds of Destruction." These Ds are:
*Distraction
*Discouragement
*Doubt
Basically, this section of the chapter discusses how distraction--being focused on your life situations rather than God--leads to discouragement which leads to doubt. The author includes a good quote of her own attitude during a period of time, that pretty accurately reflects this doubt:
"How can I know you're real if you won't answer one little prayer? I'm desperate, but you're silent. I'm angry, but you don't seem to care."
Some situations in particular where I find myself struggling with this attitude:
*My finances-I often hear that this is the one area that God wants us to test Him in. I've been testing Him for a year and frequently resent that it leaves me less money that could be going towards the debts that I foolishly acquired in college. Most of the time I feel buried under these debts and feel like God is punishing me for my stupidity earlier. I want Him to give me a quick fix because of my obedience rather than being patient.
*My future career-I took a step of obedience at the end of college when I changed my major from education to English the semester before I graduated. God had been working that change in me for two years before I actually took the step. I was afraid. The degree in education would have been a clear path--it's obvious where one's life goes after that--a degree in education obviously leads into a career in teaching. The degree in English left my future wide open for God to do as He wished in my life. I didn't want to make the change because at least as a teacher I would have seemed important. It was a major pride issue. But God promised He had plans for me. I'm still waiting for those plans, and sometimes it makes me angry with God.
*My love life (or lack thereof)-As mentioned many times on this blog, I thought I knew what God had for me. I'm still not sure it's not true. But I want to know for sure. I'm tired of waiting day after day to see if this will be the day that God answers my prayers about my future family. What I had always planned for my life was shot long ago. I always thought I'd be married by 25, have my first kid at 28. I'm two years past the marriage plan and therefore unlikely to meet the childbirth goal. Every week at church, I watch the happy families and wish that I could be part of something like that--to have a family of my own. On Saturday at Hope and Healing, L talked about how she needed to stop wanting what everyone else had before she could get what her heart desired. This is kind of where I'm at right now.
I know this all sounds terribly negative, but it's really not--because the positive side of this is coming now. Chapter two of this book goes on to discuss how we want to plan our own lives when we don't get what we want:
"We want an itinerary for our life, and when God doesn't immediately produce one, we set out to write our own.
'I need to know,' we tell ourselves."
This is what I have done in the past, and in some ways continue to do. But God has other things in mind.
"'No,' God says, 'you need to trust.'"
This is where the positive comes in. Though I have areas where I sometimes find myself doubting God, I am aware that some great things have come from TRUSTING God in these areas.
*Finances-Though it seems like a never-ending battle, it's not as bad as it seems. Yes, I still have a lot of debt, but in the last year and a half, I have paid off four credit cards as well as another outstanding debt. Being obedient to God has helped me to be obedient in making these payments also and in spending less on myself so that I can pay things off.
*Career-Though working at Kinko's does not SOUND terribly important, it has been fulfilling none-the-less. I am now making as much, if not more than I would be making as a teacher, and I guarantee that I'm happier than I would have been teaching middle school students. I really prefer small children and have no idea why I chose secondary education to begin with. I have made SO many friends at Kinko's that I wouldn't know if I'd had my way--three roommates as well as four women with whom I regularly hang out with on the weekends--and I have MANY opportunities to share my beliefs and life experiences with them. I have been blessed with the opportunity to give them a new view of Christians.
*Non-existant love life-Though I am still waiting for what God has for me, I do know what love feels like, and I would not give that up even if it meant leaving behind the pain that remains. Also, God has used this period of waiting and struggling and desiring to strengthen me. At 19 I tried to kill myself because the boyfriend I didn't even like broke up with me. Now, I have experienced real love, unreturned. I have waited for years for any response--negative or positive--from God, any response from him, and none has come. Yet I still want to live. I still can find happiness despite having my heart broken time and time again by this situation. I know that my journey in this area is not complete, but I know that God has made me new. God has given me strength to survive what I could never have lived through alone.
Really, this chapter reminded me, that despite my occasional doubts, God is still working in my life. It helped me to recognize the areas where I frequently have to battle negativity, but also to recognize where God has been working in these areas, even though sometimes it may not seem that way. How has God blessed you in areas that you sometimes think He's neglecting?