Opportunities Abound

Things have not been going well at work. This is not a surprise to anyone. I knew when I made the decision to work swing shift that it wasn't going to work. I tried to force it because of the money (always a stupid reason to make a decision) but it's just not happening. I am grateful for it anyhow because of the opportunities that I've had working on swing shift. I've made even more Evil K friends, and I've been able to attend a morning small group. Additionally, I've been propositioned by the Kit Kat Ranch, as well as several customers (always an adventure at the Evil K!). But most exciting is this: One of my co-workers is involved with the making of an independent film and because of that, I have been asked to edit their screenplay for pay. They'll pay me $100 up front and 1% of what the movie makes. Even if it makes nothing, it's still my first opportunity to be paid for doing something I enjoy.
And now, a new opportunity is arising: Next Wednesday I have a job interview and computer test at 9:00 am. The job is a M-F, 8-5 sort of job with weekends and holidays off and fully paid insurance. If I got the job, it would be a wonderful blessing. It would be something that I've been praying for and some of you have been praying for on my behalf. I am extremely nervous, not only about the interview, but about leaving a job that I've been at for 5+ years for something new. Please pray for me that the interview and computer test go well!

On showers and birthdays!

Today is day four of my five day weekend and I'm getting some rest AT LAST!
The bridal shower is done and over with. A good time was had by all, and the bride was almost in tears because she was so happy with it. This is saying a lot because the only other time I've seen her cry was when her aunt died. So, I guess all of the hard work paid off--but I'm still glad that it's done and over with. Today was a day for relaxing and doing my own thing since all of my weekends for the last month have consisted of shower planning.
The day started out at around 10:30 am. I brought some leftover food to my co-workers and then I had lunch at Boston Market. After that I went home and finished filling out a job application and then I went to get my birthday present (Tattoo #3! YAY!). I have been planning this birthday present for myself for the last year and a half, so it was very exciting to finally get it. Now I am at home waiting for Becca to call when she gets off work so I can go to the apartment for dinner. Tonight is the night that Smokey meets Soot. Soot is Russ and Becca's kitten. We're trying to get them used to each other so that I can bring Smokey over to stay the whole week while Russ and Becca are on their honeymoon.
Tomorrow is the last day of my five day weekend, but fear not, there shall be plenty more fun. I am conspiring with my dad on a birthday dinner for my mom. She is not expecting this, because we already planned birthday dinner for next weekend. Anyway, it's time for me to go rest! :)

New job prospect?

So, as many of you know, I am looking for a new job. The swing shift thing is not working at all--trying to fit everyone into Friday evenings and Saturdays means that my friends are being neglected. I never wanted to do it, but being the flippin' genius that I am, I decided to do it anyway because of the money. Yes, I know. Bad decision, worse reason. At any rate, I have been searching the job prospects and the last couple of days, I have been praying for direction as to where I should be looking and what God's will is in this situation. I have to tell you, God is a funny, funny guy. Today, I am at work, frustrated as all get out because the morning assistant manager is complaining about what we didn't do DESPITE THE FACT that we had to stay until 3am to get done what we did get done. Anyway, about halfway through my shift, I go to the counter to ring some guy up for a fax. After I've finished, he slides his business card across the counter and says, "Here's my card. Give me a call." I looked at the card and became very embarrassed.
This is where your part comes in... Guess where the guy worked. On Friday (or maybe tomorrow depending on how many of you answer) I will post the answer to where this guy worked and a related story.

Out of my hands

Jesus, I pray that you would take this whole messy work situation out of my hands. I am exhausted and cannot rationally make any decisions in regards to work. If it were up to me I would flat out quit right now. I pray that if there is a reason you still want me here, that it would be revealed to me, and if it is time to move on that you would make the search and transition quick and easy. Please help me to remain upbeat and positive despite the long hours and the added stress of having no graveyard shift to take care of all of the jobs that we don't have time to get to while we're open. Please take this burden off of my shoulders. I don't want to worry about it anymore.
~Amen

How Many Hours?

*How many hours does it take to wind down from a thirteen and a half hour shift at the Evil K? This is an experiment that I am in the middle of right now. I have been home for one hour. I tried going to bed, but I can't fall asleep yet. On the positive side, I already have 6 extra hours for the pay period, and I still have my Sunday shift left, which will be 4 1/2 to 5 hours. So, the extra ten or eleven hours will more than pay for my birthday present to myself, which ya'll will see on September 17th.
*How many hours of sleep will I get before my friend from work calls me to go to breakfast? I told said friend that I wanted to go, but will I really want to go when the time comes in the morning?
*How many hours will it take me to paint 25-30 wine glasses with grapes and vines using a stencil. Hopefully, not more than four or five, because there is much more shower preparation to do.
*How many hours are on a clock with thirteen hands?
*How many (shopping) hours left until Christmas?
*How many hours will I have to work next week before my five day weekend for my birthday?
*How many hours to practice my pirate voice?

A little bit rough, but...

Someday

Sitting here in the darkness
Surrounded by the rubble
Of what used to be my life
A shattered friendship to my left
And my dreams lie crumpled
And tossed aside to my right.
I used to know what I wanted
But somehow that changed
And I don’t seem to even
Know myself anymore.
I used to have passion
But it’s been lost along the way
I used to believe in love
But now I’m not so sure
Can’t anyone help me
Find the person I used to be--
The one who had hope
That good things really do happen
The girl who believed
Her dreams would come true
Someday

jlh

Last Week's News: Jeni=Jerk Cubed

Praise Jesus for taking care of me even when I'm being a jerk cubed!

Last week was kind of a rough week. It started with me having a migraine and sleeping through church last Sunday. Obviously not the best way to start a week. I went to work and it was fair. The rest of the week was chaos. I did not deal well with the many rude customers I encountered throughout the week. In fact, when I hung up the phone with one particularly annoying customer, I slammed it down several times, went into the back office and called the customer a nasty name using a word that I almost never use. My coworkers went into a state of shock upon hearing the word, which cannot be repeated here, come out of my mouth. (Okay, I'll be honest, I use it when I'm driving WAY more frequently than I should, but only when I'm alone.) Anyway, I'm not sure if there were more extremely rude/annoying customers than usual, or if it was just because my attitude was all wrong. To make the week even longer, I was also cat-sitting for my bro and his fiance while they were on vacation. This task required me to feed the cats in the morning and at night which means that I had to either go to their apartment on my way home from work, then go home, or just stay the night there since my cat is not NEARLY as high maintenance.
There are many other bitterness issues surrounding this situation:
1) They did not tell me until the day that they left that they were expecting me to feed the cats twice a day.
2) They were going on vacation and expecting me to take care of their stuff all the while both of my upcoming vacations ALSO involve taking care of their stuff (bridal shower, wedding, and cat-sitting during the honeymoon.) So, yeah, I'm a jerk and was being resentful of the fact that I don't really get a vacation. (Jeni+envy+resentment=jerk cubed)
3) My bro's fiance, who just graduated in May, just got a new job after only her second application--first interview. She will be making 30K+. I being the jerk cubed that I am find it necessary to compare the fact that I applied for HUNDREDS of jobs after I graduated and only got ONE interview and obviously, given the fact that I still work at the Evil K, did not get the job.
4) I have more ready for the bridal shower than they have ready for the WHOLE WEDDING. They are putting everything off until the last minute--I know it's not my problem but it's driving me crazy. Also, the fact that they haven't even mailed all of their invites yet (the wedding is Oct. 10) affects my ability to throw the shower that I want to because since they haven't gathered all of the addresses, they haven't given me all of the addresses for shower guests. I feel like I've been set up to fail...
Other contributing factors to my horrible, nasty, no good week in which I was the Attitude Princess of Nevada:
1) The migraine of doom which lasted through Tuesday.
2) The fact that I decided (stupidly) that I should spend the whole weekend working on shower stuff and take no time for myself.
3) The co-worker with whom I get along best was on vacation.

So, of course, based on my behavior, attitude, etc, throughout the week, I expected to have a crappy weekend in which I was depressed and mopey the whole time. Particularly since I had agreed to work on Friday, which is one of my two days off. But despite my bitterness, nastiness, resentfulness, just plain jerk-offery (yes I AM making up words, thank you very much) God came through. My one day weekend felt like a full weekend. Friday night, I had a couple of drinks and a really nice dinner with a couple of coworkers/friends. Saturday, I got a LOT done for the shower, spent time with my parents and spent the rest of the night waiting for my friends to call me back so that we could hang out. But they never did. I was disappointed at first, but then I realized that I really NEEDED that time for myself because I hadn't taken any in over a week. But God knew what I needed and made sure that I got it.
I went back to work today refreshed and encouraged. Worship this morning was so uplifting after the week I'd had and the message rang all too true for me. I was totally convicted of complaining too much. I was bitter about being asked to work on Friday, but afterward I felt blessed because I knew that God has a purpose for it, on top of which, my eight hours of overtime this pay period are truly a gift because God knows that I need it right now. I really do sometimes behave in a way that says "God, what you've given me is JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH." And really, He always gives me just what I NEED--I just can't see it because it's not always what I WANT.
So, the moral of the story is, once again, despite my desire to wallow in the mud of my life, God came and pulled me out and cleaned me up, even knowing that He'll probably have to do it again before long.

This is just a start... I need to finish.

I read something tonight that inspired me to write a song. It kind of has a double meaning.

P.S. It's not finished. In fact it's not even revised yet. It's just kind of a whim...

I Still Love You

When the hurt of this world
Is too much to bear
When it seems like there’s
No one out there who cares

When your life is heading somewhere
Different than it should be
When you think you’re alone,
Just remember there’s still me

Chorus:
I still love you
In the darkness of the night
I still love you
When you’re trembling with fright
I still love you
When your world has turned to gray
I still love you
No matter what you say

Just a little whining--Don't say I didn't warn you...

I arrived home this morning (I've been staying the night at my bro's apartment on alternating nights because I'm cat-sitting) to discover a note on the chalkboard indicating that the mice in our house have returned... Actually it pronounces "we have mice" as though it were a new thing, despite the fact that my food cabinet was obliterated by the mice back in February or March... However, apparently now they are taking it seriously and laying down a proclamation that the kitchen needs to stay clean because we have mice. I have a better idea: How about if the kitchen stays clean because it's gross to have week old hotdogs festering on the stove? I doubt that even the mice would go for that food...
Each week that passes and I am still living in that house, I find myself with a greater desire/need to move. I may not be the neatest person in the world, but when it comes to the kitchen, I am super-anal, and I cannot deal with piles of dishes building up for a week at a time in the sink. I almost never eat food at home that involves dishes. I eat cereal for breakfast--dry from a ziploc baggie. For lunch, I sometimes eat microwavable foods, if not, then I make myself a sandwich or something from the stash that I keep at work, which also serves as dinner. I need a clean kitchen in order to eat in a healthy manner. Oh yeah, and a little bit of room in the refrigerator for healthy foods would also help...
Anyway, the point is: I NEED TO MOVE
Here are the reasons:
1. The kitchen situation as detailed above.
2. One of my roommates likes to lock my cat in my (upstairs) extremely hot bedroom so that she can leave the hall door open. Since I got mad at her about doing that, she started locking him in the fairly cool back bedroom, leaving him there with no access to his food/water/litter.
3. My cat does not get along with the other cat in the house (Spooky is kind of a pissy cat) and since some roommates have issues with closing doors, this is sometimes a problem...
4. I would like to live within walking distance of work before the snowy/icy season starts again. (I wonder what it would be like to drive only once or twice a week)
5. My friend who owns the house will be moving back at some point within the next year, at which point I would have to move out anyway...

Here's what I need to do so I can move:
1. Pay off my three remaining credit cards.
2. Pray A LOT
3. Save enough money for first/last month, deposit (and pet deposit), utility deposits, and general moving expenses.
4. Pray some more.
5. Get rid of a lot of my junk.
6. Pray until it happens.

So I suppose, if you've read this post, the point is please pray for me in my living situation, both present and future! : )

I never really listened before...

Easy Silence - Dixie Chicks

When the calls and conversations * Accidents and accusations * Messages and misperceptions *
Paralyze my mind

Busses, cars, and airplanes leaving * Burning fumes of gasoline * And everyone is running * And I come to find a refuge in the

Easy silence that you make for me * It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me * And the peaceful quiet you create for me * And the way you keep the world at bay for me * The way you keep the world at bay

Monkeys on the barricades * Are warning us to back away * They form commissions trying to find * The next one they can crucify

And anger plays on every station * Answers only make more questions * I need something to believe in * Breathe in sanctuary in the

Easy silence that you make for me * It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me * And the peaceful quiet you create for me * And the way you keep the world at bay for me * The way you keep the world at bay

Children lose their youth too soon * Watching war made us immune * And I've got all the world to lose * But I just want to hold on to the

Easy silence that you make for me * It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me * And the peaceful quiet you create for me * And the way you keep the world at bay for me

The easy silence that you make for me * It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me * And the peaceful quiet you create for me * And the way you keep the world at bay for me * The way you keep the world at bay for me * The way you keep the world at bay

Okay, so I know that most of ya'll aren't country fans, but this song kind of hit me as something that I needed today. I've had the CD for months, but I usually skip over this particular song, because I hadn't really listened to it. Needless to say, I won't be skipping over it anymore.
Anyway, it really was a rather trying week at work. Last week, we had two people quit, which brought us down to 12 people to run the whole store. To put this into perspective, the downtown center does about 40K more than us per month, on average, they bring in LESS controllable PROFIT, and they have 22 people to run their store. On an average day by 10am they have more people working at the same time than we have on our ENTIRE payroll. Anyhow, the fact that we are now down FIVE people caused us to have to move our graveyard people to days so that we have enough people to actually function. While this means that all of the jobs that normally got done at night, now have to be done during the day. Amazingly enough, we have been able to get it all done, even though we're starting to pick up business again. (Summer is the slow season.) On top of all of this, we had an audit today, which did not go as well as we would have liked, AND I continue to have major attitude problems coming from a couple of team members on my shift. On Monday, we are planning on writing one of them up, which I suspect will make next week even LESS pleasant than this week. UGH.
Anyway, with all of that on my mind, I get in the car to come home today, on my Friday, and I put on the CD. And I just let it go from the beginning. This song is the second song, and once it got to the chorus, I started to think about the "easy silence" that Jesus has for me. Even after the crappiest week at work, I still have His easy silence to turn to, to fall into, to soak up. I always have a whole weekend to relax and escape all the "calls and conversations," "accidents and accusations," and "messages and misperceptions." I was also reminded of the way Jesus "keeps the world at bay" for me. Even though I may feel close to breaking down sometimes, I always know that he is not giving me more than I can handle--that he is there to shield me from all that I cannot handle.
Thank you, Jesus for your easy silence.