A downer sort of day

After a long day at work, and a quick dinner at my parents' house, I went to chill with BBoss for a little while. As a result of our conversation, I am now thoroughly depressed. Okay, perhaps that is a bit of an exaggeration. But not necessarily entirely. It kind of sucks when someone tells you that something you've spent 20% of your life chasing after is never going to happen, no matter how right they are. It also sucks to see someone you care about struggling with something but have no way to help except to sit and listen and pray. On days like today, though my brain knows better, my heart feels let down by God. Perhaps this is the sort of thing I shouldn't say, shouldn't put down in writing, but it is real and at least putting it out there is better than leaving it buried inside of me, waiting for it to go bad inside of me, spreading all sorts of bitterness. I don't want it to be this way. I will pray that I will not let Satan convince me that the bad things that are happening are in some way God's doing, some sort of punishment for my inconsistent level of faith. I will pray that I would find the strength and faith to believe that God will take the pain away, both physical and emotional. I will pray that He will either change my job or change my heart about my job. I will pray that I will be led away from unrealistic hopes and dreams. I will pray that my friends and I will have the discipline to better manage our finances. And when it seems like there is nothing left to do, I will pray.