In today's post, I will be listing the qualities that it seems that men look for in women. It will be divided into the ones I have, and the ones I don't have (Just the top 3 of each).
Strikes against me:
1. I am not what would be considered "hot." Specifically when a man talks about a "hot chick," I would not fall into this category. (I do not say this to be self-deprecating. I would not deny the possibility of being considered pretty, beautiful, cute, etc because these are about an individuals perception. Hot, however seems to fall more into a societal perception. I'm not really sure that I would even want to be considered "hot" because that would be about what's on the outside, and I don't want somebody like that desiring me.)
2. I will not be considered the lesser partner in a relationship. It is my belief that a marriage is a partnership between two equals, neither greater than the other. I also believe that there is evidence in the Bible to support this position, which will be for a later post. The point is, finding a man who doesn't think the woman is supposed to stay home and take care of the kids and cook and clean and leave the important decisions to him alone, is challenging to say the least. Even men my age seem to frequently believe that women should not teach men, should live to obey men, etc. I will not have my voice silenced.
3. I am too eager to show what I know. I've heard occasionally (even from men) that this is somewhat intimidating. I rarely pass up an opportunity to make "intelligent" conversation. I've heard from some men that they like to be the "smart one" in the relationship, so if it appears that a woman might more than him, he will ignore her. I am not going to play dumb to protect some guy's ego.
What I do have:
1. I have a desire to make things better for people who do not have it well.
2. I am fiercely loyal to those who decide to call me their friend/family/whatever.
3. I am incredibly open--anything you want to know about me, I will be more than happy to tell you. (I suppose this could also be considered a strike...)
Let's hear it from the guys about what qualities in a woman are important (aside from being hot) and from the women about what important qualities we do have.
7 comments:
i'm attracted to modesty, gentleness, nurturing, & thoughtfulness.
attitude (i.e. strong personality), intelligence, independence (i can't stand "needy" women), humility, fearlessness. doesn't take lifestyle cues from fashion magazines or tv scripts. authenticity and originality. these are the same qualities i look for in my close friends.
Jeni, I can relate to what you are saying about not wanting to be forced into a subservient role. But I think that motherhood has gotten lumped into this category unfairly. I can think of nothing more deserving of my time and talents as a woman than to invest myself in the upbringing of my children. I believe it takes courage and wisdom to resist the cultural perceptions of motherhood as a demeaning and lesser role. The reason that God chose Abraham to be the father of the Jewish race is because God knew that Abraham would raise his children to know God. What better testimony can we have of the impact of lives than that we made that kind of difference in someone else's life--the lives of our children.
i like women that can beat me up. helps keep me in my place
Georgia--I am not saying that I don't want to have kids/take care of kids, or that it is a bad thing to stay home and do so. I'm saying that I don't want it to be what's expected of me. I don't want to have to be the only one to give things up for the relationship/family. It should be a partnership, with both parties doing what's best for said kids, each giving a little to make things good for the kids.
In other words, yes I would enjoy taking care of kids, but because it is what "WE" have decided, not because that's "a woman's role." I guess what I'm trying to say is, God does not view women as lesser than men, he has not assigned us specific roles, and I could never be with a man who thought He did. And I know many who do believe this.
Oh, one more thing... I intentionally did not use the word "subservient" because I know that we are all called to be "servants to all." The role that I'm trying to avoid is the inferior role. So if I did at some point become a stay at home mom it would be equally important to God as going to work and bringing home money.
Ugh! Why do I keep leaving my thoughts incomplete?! I need to just stop posting because nothing I say is coming out right at this point.
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