On the subject of spiritual gifts: I have taken the happy spiritual gifts test at probably 7-8 times in the last three or four years, and there are a couple of areas that I consistently score high in that I have a hard time with, and they are always in the top 3, tied for highest score...
#1 Celibacy: Now, this is a tough one. The description given by the evaluation is "The gift of Celibacy is the divine enablement to some members of the Body of Christ to remain single and enjoy it; to be unmarried and not suffer from sexual temptations." Now I have no problem believing that this definition applies to me. I do enjoy being single most of the time--I like not having to coordinate my daily schedule with someone elses. The problems I have with this are that first, I love kids and I'd like to have some someday--but I'm not really interested in doing what I need to do to get there, if you know what I mean. (I feel that this is highly abnormal... I won't even try to make sense of that...) Second, I really do want to experience loving someone so much that I want to spend every day with them for the rest of my life AND have him/her return the feeling... Not necessarily a spouse, just a permanent earthly companion... I want to spend my life with my best friend in a sense and bring up children with him. Any thoughts on this?
#2 Evangelism: Now this one, I really do not understand. How could I possibly be blessed with the gift of evangelism. I am too timid to start conversations with people I don't know. I do not speak well in front of people in large groups, and I've never led anyone to Christ. The only logical solutions I can think of (with the help of a couple of you...) are that a) I enjoy WRITING in a way that promotes Jesus and make him real to people and b) I have no hesitation to share my faith with people I know--or people I don't really know who start a conversation with me. I'm just not good at being the initiator with new people. At any rate, how is it that this one ALWAYS comes up?
These are my thoughts for today. If you have made it this far, you are braver than most.
6 comments:
i'm a little confused on your second point on the "celibacy" portion. you wanna have children, live w/ a best friend/companion, not married, raising those children, - i'm confused. this gives me a logistical headache just thinking about it.
re: the gifts test- i've noticed in taking any test, that we answer questions in a way that correlates w/ our current situation. so, if you're single right now, maybe you'll register high on the "celibacy" side. i don't know just a thought. for example, i have a wife & 3 kids- i think my "celibacy" score was 0 the last time i took the test. anyway, i'm not doubting that you have the gift of "celibacy", just make sure it's not completely determined by your current season & anything from your past. :)
Regarding the celibacy issue, I agree with Jay. I think it is unlikely that you would find a male best friend that would live with you in celibacy and raise children with you. But I do think it is entirely possible for you to (at the right point in your life) fall in love with someone, get married, and raise a family.
As far as evangelism goes, perhaps it's an undeveloped gift and you will grow in the use of this gift over time.
Maybe I did misunderstand....I though Jeni was saying that she wanted to have a close male friend who would live with her, not married but celibate, and co-raise children. Did I misunderstand, Jeni?
You did indeed, Georgia... Those were kind of supposed to be separate points but I was tired and they kinda ran together (oops...) I was kind of saying that I'd be happy single, but I want kids... Then I was saying that I could only see myself marrying and raising kids with a man who was my best friend (which I know should always be the case anyhow). Perhaps I should close the celibacy subject because it doesn't really even entirely make sense to me...
I'm glad that got cleared up. :)
jaybird... I forgot to reply to you... Here's the thing... Being that most of the questions relevant to celibacy have more to do with thought than action, even single people score lower. I understand that it may have to do with my current situation, which you know more about than most, and obviously there is more to it than what I wrote here. Feel free to ask me to elaborate later--I won't do it here...
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